


“We can never be together” Kiss

by yikesola



Series: tumblr ficlet prompts [40]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2008, Early Days, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 08:33:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21443287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yikesola/pseuds/yikesola
Summary: He rolls onto his stomach and reaches for his laptop. Something to focus on, something that doesn’t suck— the sweet escape of the internet.A ficlet about loneliness and longing.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: tumblr ficlet prompts [40]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1410112
Comments: 24
Kudos: 94





	“We can never be together” Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> Kiss Prompt: “We can never be together” kiss  
thanks [ahappydnp](http://ahappydnp.tumblr.com) for helping me with this tricky prompt!

School sucks, and the heavy October rain outside Dan’s window sucks, and his dad’s angry voice yelling about something unimportant downstairs sucks, and the text from his girlfriend Dan’s pointedly ignoring right now sucks. The rumble in his stomach because he skipped dinner sucks. The pounding in his head from sleeping like shit last night sucks. 

He’s getting stuck on a loop. Even little things. The brown walls of his bedroom suck. His dirty sheets suck. The wrinkled pile of his school uniform on his floor sucks. 

He wishes he could open a fucking window. Some fresh air might be nice. Too bad he’d flood his entire room if he tried it. 

He rolls onto his stomach and reaches for his laptop. Something to focus on, something that doesn’t suck— the sweet escape of the internet. 

There’s a new paperlillies video, and a new amazingphil video. Maybe not everything sucks… just most things. 

The amazingphil video has him smiling the whole way through, a goofy smile he’s almost embarrassed about when he notices. It’s not like Phil’s weirder videos, although it still has that zany flair. It’s just chattier, about being back from New York and settling into his new uni room. And about how he stapled his finger. And a pitch for the nose watch. It’s basically the perfect video. He rewatches it twice. 

At one point Phil praises the Americans he’d recently been surrounded by. He says, “I just wanna wrap you up in a ball of cotton wool and send you down a giant hill,” which, Dan admits, is a weird way to show affection. But he likes it. 

Then Phil leans forward to hug the screen. And Dan knows it isn’t for him, he knows amazingphil has no fucking clue who he is. But he hits the spacebar to pause on a frame where Phil is smiling and his full bottom lip looks too fucking tempting despite Dan’s full-body fear when he thinks about what those tempting feelings mean. He leans forward without thinking about it. His lips press against his laptop screen for a brief moment. 

He feels so fucking stupid immediately after. 

But he can’t help but think about how that’s the closest he’s ever gonna get to kissing amazingphil… and maybe a little embarrassment amongst a sea of suck is worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading— come say hi on [tumblr](http://yikesola.tumblr.com/post/189084691674/we-can-never-be-together-kiss) !

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] "We can never be together" Kiss](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23270791) by [yikesola](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yikesola/pseuds/yikesola)


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